More Losses!

We’ve revised our Loss List.  We thought we were doing a good job with our 47 items until I found someone else who had 64 losses on their list.  No, this isn’t a case of loss list envy.  It’s important because grief is our reaction to loss, and if you’re ever going to move beyond the things that hold you back in life, you need to recognize and understand the impact your losses have had on your life.

So what are we adding?

  1. Estrangement from family.  I can’t believe we never had this on our list.  This is a huge issue with so many families, and for so many reasons.
  2. Entering or leaving military service.  This is another I can’t believe we forgot, since I’m a veteran.
  3. KIA.  We list MIA (Missing In Action) and POW (Prisoner Of War), but don’t have KIA (Killed In Action), so we will rectify that oversight as well.
  4. Grieving someone you didn’t know at all (like a celebrity).  Remember when Princess Diana was killed?  Or the shock we felt when Robin Williams died by suicide?  Or, if you’re from my era, when President Kennedy was assassinated?  True, these events didn’t have the impact of more personal losses, but they touched your life story.
  5. Grieving someone you only knew online (cyber loss).  We can make some good friends on line, and we feel the loss when they are no longer with us.
  6. Getting clean and the loss of drugs.  We know that sinking into addiction is a loss, but so is getting clean and sober.
  7. Death of the partner in an extra-marital affair.  This is one thing you will probably have to grieve alone.
  8. Grieving someone you can’t remember (ex. a parent who died when you were an infant).  Yes, this is a real thing.  I’ve worked with children who have problems with this.
  9. Grieving someone who died before you were born (an older sibling who died before you were born).

So that’s just a preview.  There will be other additions.  More things to come to get you thinking and remembering.

Lots of hugs,


10 Replies to “More Losses!”

  1. “…..grief is our reaction to loss, and if you’re ever going to move beyond the things that hold you back in life, you need to recognize and understand the impact your losses have had on your life.” THAT is exactly the sentence I was looking for today! Excellent blog. I will also be creating a Loss List…very good exercise, and it fits right in with my current plan! Thank you! ~MB

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad it spoke to you, MainelyButch. Our loss list is updated now. You’ll find it, if you haven’t already, at the top of the page, under the dahlia and in the Lists menu.


    1. Hi, Mike. You bring up a good point that we’ll have to write about some day. Most people consider getting clean and sober to be a good thing, and it is, BUT you also suffer the loss of the relief that drugs and alcohol gave you.


  2. I feel like I have had so many losses, I don’t even want to go back and look at them. I try to look forward and just forget about the losses. I know they are still lurking down below, but I don’t no how else to deal with them. I think if I let them back up I won’t survive the pain. They are my demons !!!


      1. Thank you so much for the info…I just might take you up on that. If you only knew the losses. Houses, businesses, baby Sean, Adult Children and on and on. I don’t think I’m ready to deal. I’m still really mad about so much. I think anger keeps me from crying myself to well you know…Blessings ❤


  3. Being disinherited by your own father and your sister’s don’t help you they just take their money and tell me to go to hell basically. I still can’t help but just feel so bad about it. It was never about the money. It was being a part of the family. I haven’t spoken to any of them or my mom in over a year. It’s horrible…


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